


Inevitable Disappointment

by LadyMikiri



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Gen, Guilt, Kid Kakashi, Young Kakashi, fear of failure, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 00:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5435834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMikiri/pseuds/LadyMikiri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi just wants to adjust to his new eye and try not to taint everything he touches. Minato wants to help but doesn't know how.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inevitable Disappointment

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a post on tumblr about kid kakashi's fear of failure. I'll find the post and add it here later. I'm not incredibly happy with this, but I'm not sure exactly what it is that it's missing. If you can tell, let me know, pleeeeeaaaasssee.

* * *

 

“ _Damn_ _rain_ ,” Kakashi hissed to himself. He stared at his hands on the muddy ground. He pretended the trembling wasn’t there. Pretended it wasn’t obvious. He couldn’t be trembling. It was a sign of weakness; he couldn’t be weak. He couldn’t be less than enough. Not again; not ever.

It was also a sign of emotion, but that was something he had long ago banished. It didn’t even cross his mind that the tremors might have something to do with the fact that he was training with an eye that was not his. That left eye held no emotion, no significance, no reminder of things gone horribly wrong. It only held potential.

Potential that Kakashi had to unlock. He _could not fail_ the village again. He didn’t know how many times they would turn a blind eye to his-.

“Kakashi! What are you doing out here?” came a familiar voice shattering his meager concentration. Minato had found him, it seemed.

“I was just trying to get used to-” he mumbled, motioning towards his soon-to-be scar. “I’m training,” he stated more clearly, rising to his feet. He turned away from his sensei to continue his self imposed penance. Minato-sensei was the last person he could disappoint anew. He didn’t know why or how, but Minato-sensei’s was the last opinion Kakashi would admit he truly valued. And what had Kakashi done to him. He had gotten one of his students killed. Not just any student. Kushina’s favorite. Rin’s closest friend. An Uchiha. Kakashi had always thought Obito was useless. Now, Kakashi realized with painful clarity that Obito was far more precious to the village than Kakashi ever could be.

“How long have you been out here?” Minato asked, knowing he wouldn’t get an honest answer. No one had seen his student for several days. He only hoped Kakashi had eaten at some point. Judging from the thin, pale, shaking state, Kakashi hadn’t slept, much less eaten. What caused Kakashi to train himself to the point of exhaustion, far past the point of safety, Minato never knew. Part of it was Obito’s death; Kakashi blamed himself. That much was obvious, but Kakashi had been hard on himself long before that god forsaken mission.

“A few hours.”

“Kakashi, you’ll get the hang of it. It’s a powerful jutsu, and it’s not one you’ve been born to possess. It will take time to master it.”

Kakashi tensed. _Not born to possess_. The only thing he had been born to possess was a legacy of failure. A legacy he would eradicate if it killed him. He wouldn’t give the village anymore reason to hate the name Hatake. He knew he could never restore it; he was trash, and trash couldn’t do much more than exist. But maybe now-with a part of Obito-he could at least begin to deserve his place in the village.

When Kakashi didn’t respond, Minato considered his options. He could let Kakashi continue and when he inevitably passed out, carry him home. But Kakashi never seemed to understand when Minato tried to care for him. Minato assumed it was because he was so used to being on his own.

Reasoning with him also wouldn’t work. Kakashi was incredibly focused at times. The end of the world wouldn’t be enough to stall him.

That left one option-a direct order. Kakashi still wouldn’t be happy, but at least he would come out of the rain and eat something. “Kakashi. Stop. We have a mission tomorrow. You are to get some rest and eat something. Meet at the village gate at sunrise.” Minato decided to leave. Kakashi would follow orders; sticking around would simply irritate him more.

“Yes, Sensei,” Kakashi dutifully answered. Once he felt Minato’s presence disappear, he fell to his knees again. At least he hadn’t collapsed as he had so many times before. Every time he would wake up to Minato’s face and know that once again he had fallen short. Perhaps with Obito’s help, Kakashi could be something more than a burden on this next mission. Obito’s eye was the only thing that held any hope. Kakashi just had to try not to taint the gift with himself.


End file.
